Friend (noun)
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
2. person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
Friendship (noun)
1. the state of being a friend; association as being friends
2. a friendly relation or intimacy
3. friendly feeling or disposition
When searching the internet for the words friend and friendship, Dictionary.com, these are the definitions that will pop up on your screen of choice (computer/smart phone). But what do these words mean? Is a friendship tangible or intangible? What does a person need to do or say to be considered a friend?
A friend of mine sent me a text message thanking me for being a true friend to them. I responded back thanking them for the friendship as well. We spoke later and discussed some life spoils and I was able to listen to them as without offering any advice (which I believe they wanted from me). They were grateful to receive the listening ear that they had initially prompted when they reached out to me via text and I was happy to oblige.
For several years, I was a friend to someone who didn't seem reciprocate the same emotion as me. This person wasn't really around when I needed them to be yet when I was needed they could call upon me and I was there for them. Whether they needed someone to vent to or just have a good old shoot of the breeze chat, I was there. From the very beginning of the friendship, I always felt like something was off but I ignored it because I really enjoyed being around this person whenever we got together. When their actions finally got the best of me, I was hurt and decided not to speak to them in fear that I would say something that I would regret. I did not speak to them for months! When I finally decided that we needed to talk, they tried to turn the tables on me and make it seem as though I was the one at fault. I then began to question myself! Was I the one who had not been the better friend? Had I not been the one who was always conveniently in place when they needed me? I received confirmation that this person was my "reason" in life (**reference below**). After years of knowing this individual, hanging with this individual even sharing very personal parts of my life with this person, was so quick to write me off as if we had not been "friends".
In the many years knowing them, we had never gotten into an altercation until I had had enough. It was during that time that I knew they did not reciprocate the same feelings I felt. Sure it hurt my feelings but it was as the saying goes, *"People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime."* I always felt our friendship happened for a reason but I ignored the fact because I wanted so much for it to be a lifetime friendship.
I guess I'm saying this to say everyone comes into your life for something. Some mean you well and others simply put, don't. Some are placed there as a means to test you and others are there to help you through your test. Which type of friend are you? A reason, a season or a lifetime friend? The truth is, you more than likely are or have been all three at some point in your life. For instance, growing up you probably had a best friend and as life began to change, you and your best friend either remained just that--best friends or you barely saw one another. There are several examples but this one is the most common one I think. Believe me, this is perfectly okay! It's all a part of a much more divine plan that was predestined for us. I am glad that things happen for a reason although they may not be clear in the beginning and may never be clear. Sometimes you just have to stop trying to be the pilot and sit off to the side and be the co-pilot.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Monday, August 10, 2015
Working Mom vs Non-Working Mom
Many months ago, I began to write this blog post but because I just wasn't ready to introduce it to the world wide web just yet, I did not. Now that I have a little free time on my hands...here it is!
Many months ago when I was still working a 40 hour work week in addition to handling my everyday tasks of being a wife and mother I felt myself ALWAYS running a race of some sort. I was racing to work, racing to get my child to school, using my lunch break to pick my daughter up from school and race across town to make sure she was getting to gymnastics on time and back to work. Then after getting off of work racing to pick her up and back home to make a meal. I often felt as though I was always in a hurry to get somewhere and do something throughout the day. I felt like my day was a nonstop one that did not have an end until late at night. Often times when I woke up in the morning at 5:30 AM, I would hit the snooze button because I was still tired from the previous night even if I had gone to bed relatively early (10:15 PM). Before 10 minutes could pass (which was the amount of time my snooze would allow me to get in "just a few more minutes" I would jump up and begin to get dressed to go out and get a run in. I often found myself (if I actually willed myself to get out of bed) literally racing against the clock because I wanted to get at least a mile in before having to be back home by 6:30 AM to wake my daughter and get her ready for school.
While running, I found myself constantly watching the clock to make sure I was making good on time. When I felt that I wasn't making good time, I sped up so I wouldn't be late or I'd cut the run short. After making it back home, I hurriedly got my daughter up, made sure her clothes were neat and left her to get washed up and dressed while I either showered immediately or began to make her breakfast to start her day and her snacks and lunch for later that morning and afternoon. Now that I'm a stay at home mom, after being in the workforce for over 20 years I am at a loss for what my life should consist of these days.
Today was my daughter's first day of 4th grade. It was a very strange day for me today to say the least! First of all, I didn't go to bed until AFTER 2 AM, then I woke up at 7 AM and woke my daughter up shortly afterwards. She took her bath and did the rest of her morning ritual in order to get ready for school. I made up a few boxes of snacks for her to put inside of her lunch bag so all she has to do in the morning is pack which snack she wants to eat for the day inside her lunch bag along with the lunch that is/will be made up the night before. That worked out well this morning after she made her own breakfast and ate. After she was ready to rock and roll, I took her to school, dropped her off and had no place to be in a hurry afterwards.
Since she's been in school, I have ALWAYS had to get her up and ready in addition to getting myself ready to head to work soon after dropping her off. This year is different! It was a unnatural yet pleasant reward to drop her off at school and then go to Starbucks and get coffee without having to race back to Cliffdale Road to be at work on time! I am saying all this to say that...TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY! (Thank you Ice-Cube for the reference). Anyhow, after getting my coffee, I was able to meet my mother and chat with her for a bit, come home and think about what I wanted/needed to do for the day and took a nap! I woke up, later picked up my girl and came home to make dinner. It was great to have dinner ready by 6 PM and to be eating by 6:30 PM! It was nice to be ready for the next day by 8 PM and have my daughter ready for bed by 9 PM! Sure, she didn't fall asleep before 10:30, but she was in the bed, resting! And me, I have time to make another entry into my blog. I NEVER had time to do that until late in the evenings which is why I started this bog in 2011 but only have a few entries. I just didn't have the time or energy for that matter to sit at the computer late at night to write a post! Now that I'm not working, I hope to explore the world of 'freelance writing' in addition to creating great literature for people's pleasure.
I am relishing in the thought that this is now my new life! This is what I have to look forward to for at least the next 18 months of my life. I really think I'm going to enjoy the life of a non-working mom!
Many months ago when I was still working a 40 hour work week in addition to handling my everyday tasks of being a wife and mother I felt myself ALWAYS running a race of some sort. I was racing to work, racing to get my child to school, using my lunch break to pick my daughter up from school and race across town to make sure she was getting to gymnastics on time and back to work. Then after getting off of work racing to pick her up and back home to make a meal. I often felt as though I was always in a hurry to get somewhere and do something throughout the day. I felt like my day was a nonstop one that did not have an end until late at night. Often times when I woke up in the morning at 5:30 AM, I would hit the snooze button because I was still tired from the previous night even if I had gone to bed relatively early (10:15 PM). Before 10 minutes could pass (which was the amount of time my snooze would allow me to get in "just a few more minutes" I would jump up and begin to get dressed to go out and get a run in. I often found myself (if I actually willed myself to get out of bed) literally racing against the clock because I wanted to get at least a mile in before having to be back home by 6:30 AM to wake my daughter and get her ready for school.
While running, I found myself constantly watching the clock to make sure I was making good on time. When I felt that I wasn't making good time, I sped up so I wouldn't be late or I'd cut the run short. After making it back home, I hurriedly got my daughter up, made sure her clothes were neat and left her to get washed up and dressed while I either showered immediately or began to make her breakfast to start her day and her snacks and lunch for later that morning and afternoon. Now that I'm a stay at home mom, after being in the workforce for over 20 years I am at a loss for what my life should consist of these days.
Today was my daughter's first day of 4th grade. It was a very strange day for me today to say the least! First of all, I didn't go to bed until AFTER 2 AM, then I woke up at 7 AM and woke my daughter up shortly afterwards. She took her bath and did the rest of her morning ritual in order to get ready for school. I made up a few boxes of snacks for her to put inside of her lunch bag so all she has to do in the morning is pack which snack she wants to eat for the day inside her lunch bag along with the lunch that is/will be made up the night before. That worked out well this morning after she made her own breakfast and ate. After she was ready to rock and roll, I took her to school, dropped her off and had no place to be in a hurry afterwards.
Since she's been in school, I have ALWAYS had to get her up and ready in addition to getting myself ready to head to work soon after dropping her off. This year is different! It was a unnatural yet pleasant reward to drop her off at school and then go to Starbucks and get coffee without having to race back to Cliffdale Road to be at work on time! I am saying all this to say that...TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY! (Thank you Ice-Cube for the reference). Anyhow, after getting my coffee, I was able to meet my mother and chat with her for a bit, come home and think about what I wanted/needed to do for the day and took a nap! I woke up, later picked up my girl and came home to make dinner. It was great to have dinner ready by 6 PM and to be eating by 6:30 PM! It was nice to be ready for the next day by 8 PM and have my daughter ready for bed by 9 PM! Sure, she didn't fall asleep before 10:30, but she was in the bed, resting! And me, I have time to make another entry into my blog. I NEVER had time to do that until late in the evenings which is why I started this bog in 2011 but only have a few entries. I just didn't have the time or energy for that matter to sit at the computer late at night to write a post! Now that I'm not working, I hope to explore the world of 'freelance writing' in addition to creating great literature for people's pleasure.
I am relishing in the thought that this is now my new life! This is what I have to look forward to for at least the next 18 months of my life. I really think I'm going to enjoy the life of a non-working mom!
What Is YOUR Destiny?
Have you ever wondered to yourself or out loud...what am I supposed to be doing with my life? What was I created to do? Where am I supposed to be? Why am I still here? You may not admittedly say you've asked these questions or they may have been worded differently, but yes, these feelings/questions are all relevant to life.
From the time we're born most parents/caregivers have goals set for us. We are told that we will go to school, make good grades, go to college, have a great career, makes lots of money and be able to take care of ourselves (and perhaps them when they aren't able to care for themselves). Not only do they set these goals for us as we grow, they instill (or brainwash) the same "dreams" within us. As we age, we believe their dream is what we really want out of life. But what happens when we decide differently? I'll tell you what I believe happens...I believe we disappoint our parents or caregivers simply because THEY had our lives all planned out. Sure they want what's best for us or what they think is best for us. I have even found myself doing this with my own child. I have told her, "You need to go to school and make good grades so that when you grow up, you can go to college and make something out of your life and you won't have to depend on anyone to take care of you. You will be able to take care of your family the way you want to take care of them."
Like most parents, I too want what I think is best for my child. Yes, a good education is the key to success but what about the ones that didn't have a higher education and made millions and successful careers without it? Who am I or better yet, who are WE as adults to force a common belief onto the generation coming up behind us? Before my generation came along, yes, it was pretty much guaranteed that if one went to college one would have a lot better chance at a career in the field in which one studied in. Here I am, sitting on a college degree that I can do absolutely nothing with unless I further my studies in the field. Not to mention the thousands of dollars I owe back in student loans! It's really unfortunate that so many people around my age are rocking in the same boat.
No one told us about that grand disbursement check that we went running to the mall with. No one told us, "Hey, you're going to get that extra money but what you should do is go ahead and give it back so that will be less that you owe AFTER you get your degree." No one told us the pitfalls that came along with that "free money"! Now, 15 years later interest has set in, I cannot work in the field that I went to school for to begin with and guess what, I more than likely won't go back to school to further my education in the field because that is more money that I'd owe back to Uncle Sam and who's to say that I land that career of a lifetime?
I guess what the purpose of this blog entry is to say, let's continue to encourage our youth and steer them out of the path of danger but let's also let them explore and make up their own minds to do what they want to do in life. Let them have a chance to tell us what they think would be the right path whether it is right or left. Let's allow our children to grow up to be thinkers and innovators. Let's provoke different thought patterns instead of biased ones. God has given everyone on this earth a purpose in life let's not try to do His job for him by telling our babies what they should do with lives.
My daughter who will very soon be nine is a very talented little girl. She gets along with most people, never meets a stranger, very giving and she's just an all around good person. Now don't get me twisted, this little girl can worry the horns off a billy goat but she means well! She has a natural gift to draw people near her. I love that spirit about her and I would love to say, "She got it from her mama!" but that is NOT the case. She got that from the heavenly Father. Who am I to tell her that she needs to play her guitar for a living? Who am I to tell her that she needs to continue gymnastics because I think she's good? Who am I to tell her that she needs to be a swimmer because she's really good at swimming? Sure I want her to do those things but it is not my decision to make. Her life was written long before she was born and to try to steer her along a path that is not hers is not the job for me.
So I ask, what IS your destiny? What are you supposed to be doing in life? Are you doing it? Did you listen to yourself or a higher being about what it is you should be doing. Take some time to yourself and speak to Him....He will tell you exactly what you need to be doing with your life. Whether it be teaching or being taught, the answer to this is already within you...you just need to seek it out for yourself. Don't continue to do something you don't want to do in order to please someone else. As T.I. sang, "You gotta live your life!" YOUR destiny is yours to write.
From the time we're born most parents/caregivers have goals set for us. We are told that we will go to school, make good grades, go to college, have a great career, makes lots of money and be able to take care of ourselves (and perhaps them when they aren't able to care for themselves). Not only do they set these goals for us as we grow, they instill (or brainwash) the same "dreams" within us. As we age, we believe their dream is what we really want out of life. But what happens when we decide differently? I'll tell you what I believe happens...I believe we disappoint our parents or caregivers simply because THEY had our lives all planned out. Sure they want what's best for us or what they think is best for us. I have even found myself doing this with my own child. I have told her, "You need to go to school and make good grades so that when you grow up, you can go to college and make something out of your life and you won't have to depend on anyone to take care of you. You will be able to take care of your family the way you want to take care of them."
Like most parents, I too want what I think is best for my child. Yes, a good education is the key to success but what about the ones that didn't have a higher education and made millions and successful careers without it? Who am I or better yet, who are WE as adults to force a common belief onto the generation coming up behind us? Before my generation came along, yes, it was pretty much guaranteed that if one went to college one would have a lot better chance at a career in the field in which one studied in. Here I am, sitting on a college degree that I can do absolutely nothing with unless I further my studies in the field. Not to mention the thousands of dollars I owe back in student loans! It's really unfortunate that so many people around my age are rocking in the same boat.
No one told us about that grand disbursement check that we went running to the mall with. No one told us, "Hey, you're going to get that extra money but what you should do is go ahead and give it back so that will be less that you owe AFTER you get your degree." No one told us the pitfalls that came along with that "free money"! Now, 15 years later interest has set in, I cannot work in the field that I went to school for to begin with and guess what, I more than likely won't go back to school to further my education in the field because that is more money that I'd owe back to Uncle Sam and who's to say that I land that career of a lifetime?
I guess what the purpose of this blog entry is to say, let's continue to encourage our youth and steer them out of the path of danger but let's also let them explore and make up their own minds to do what they want to do in life. Let them have a chance to tell us what they think would be the right path whether it is right or left. Let's allow our children to grow up to be thinkers and innovators. Let's provoke different thought patterns instead of biased ones. God has given everyone on this earth a purpose in life let's not try to do His job for him by telling our babies what they should do with lives.
My daughter who will very soon be nine is a very talented little girl. She gets along with most people, never meets a stranger, very giving and she's just an all around good person. Now don't get me twisted, this little girl can worry the horns off a billy goat but she means well! She has a natural gift to draw people near her. I love that spirit about her and I would love to say, "She got it from her mama!" but that is NOT the case. She got that from the heavenly Father. Who am I to tell her that she needs to play her guitar for a living? Who am I to tell her that she needs to continue gymnastics because I think she's good? Who am I to tell her that she needs to be a swimmer because she's really good at swimming? Sure I want her to do those things but it is not my decision to make. Her life was written long before she was born and to try to steer her along a path that is not hers is not the job for me.
So I ask, what IS your destiny? What are you supposed to be doing in life? Are you doing it? Did you listen to yourself or a higher being about what it is you should be doing. Take some time to yourself and speak to Him....He will tell you exactly what you need to be doing with your life. Whether it be teaching or being taught, the answer to this is already within you...you just need to seek it out for yourself. Don't continue to do something you don't want to do in order to please someone else. As T.I. sang, "You gotta live your life!" YOUR destiny is yours to write.
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